I Remember Everything
by ILoveHarryandGinnyPotter
Summary: Those men would lure you into their rooms and you'd give them what they want. And this time around, you were the one in control. You were the one with the power. Such a big load for such a fragile girl AU


**A/N: Can anyone guess which song this is based on? It's from one of my favorite artists. Review your guesses or answers! I love this song so much! It's a really great song. A lot of songfics are maybe going to be posted. It's just that I hear a song, I like it, my brain decides to base it on Harry and Ginny and I write it. Although, some don't make it. I might start writing some fics about Ron/Hermione or Romione. Please review!**

My Ginny. My everything. How I miss you.

I remember everything. The blue carpeted floors and the tall wooden doors of our flat. The home we bought. Every night, I would hold you in my arms and listen to the candid sound of your voice as you told me how much you loved _this_. I'd fight your nightmares with you. We were happy. So happy. We had everything. When you entered, the whole room lighted up with joy and mischief. That was the time I loved you the best, when you were smiling. But we were kids then, barely seventeen. We made our home right after you graduated. We didn't have to think about the future. But behind the smile and glittering eyes was a broken girl who had nowhere to go, who was trapped in her body. A girl who hadn't fought off her demons. They always won, always overpowered you when you tried tackling them. They were too strong for you. And you were afraid you'd feel this trapped your whole life.

I remember you once told me you were happy. You could care less what people thought about us. You smiled that smile you've gotten better at displaying. Your act was very good. Only I could see through it. They all didn't pay attention or didn't care. But I did. I loved you. I saw your fake smile. It never reached your eyes. It never had. Not even when we started dating. It was still halfway there. You were still too traumatized by your memories and nightmares. You don't trust anyone, never let anyone in. Why? Because you knew if you told someone everything about yourself, you become vulnerable. You were vulnerable and you hated it. You hated the memory of it. You hated how that cruel man once had you in his possession, how you were too weak to stop him.

You put the moon in a basket, carrying it like it was yours. Things started to get out of control. You would leave early and come home late, almost like you were avoiding me. Soon, the rumors started spreading. You started going out to parties and drinking. And I had to leave you. Your face lit up in pale grief like you were a ghost. You loved to play with darkness, all the universe could give. I reminded you of a home you once tried to escape. Of the dark in which you lived. You weren't happy, but you were with me. But I reminded you of all the sadness you lived because I was the only light you had. I was the only light in your sad memories. I stood out. But you remember I was the one that saved you from him. I was in most of your heartbreaking memories. I wish I could take all your pain away, just add it to my load. I'd do anything for you.

And soon, people would find you laying there on several different homes. They found you lying on their porches. I didn't want to see it, but it was all over the news. Harry Potter's ex-girlfriend found lying on several men's homes. Did you need to use their phone? That's what I convinced myself you needed. But I know it's not true. I was foolish to believe. You were there for one thing; release. Release of your life and your hell. Those men would lure you into their rooms and you'd give them what they want. And this time around, you were the one in control. You were the one with the power.

You didn't get that they still had power over you. They were the ones supplying you with the poison. Without it, you'd have none of it.

That was the last I heard of you.

Gin, that was love I could not allow. A love I couldn't understand. A love I didn't deserve. You preferred freedom over me.

You were beautiful, Gin. You had the best smile and the best pair of brown eyes. Merlin, those eyes. They made me melt and do whatever you wanted. And that hair. That long red hair. I loved the smell of it.

But now, now you're just a coke jaw. How you changed. That happy girl you were is gone. Now you sell your body for drugs. Because you need to feel free and forget. You need to feel like you're the creator of your life, the only one in control. Are you really? You need to forget your life and all the burden you carry. Such a big load for such a fragile girl.

I hear around town, "What a shame for that poor girl. She's wasting her life away," "Ginny Weasley used to be a kind girl. Don't know what happened to her," "Too smart. The perfect candidate for a broken heart," "Ginny, who? Oh, that girl that had Harry Potter? Yeah, she gets around now," "She's gone. In her place is a girl with no manners and no dignity,"

They kill me, Gin. They talk about you as if they touched you, they'd light on fire. Although, I wouldn't doubt it. You did have a temper. You were kind of like a mockingbird. It's a sin to kill a mockingbird. Yet, someone still shot you with their gun and poisoned you. You're a dead mockingbird.

I don't blame you for not being able to fight your demons. I can't fight mine off either. But that's where we differ. You take all your pain and use it for the worse and I take mine and try to find a good in it. We find release in different ways. So does everyone else that fought and lost their innocence.

You were beautiful then. So beautiful.

I remember everything. The smell of you, the smell of your hair, the smell of your soft skin, the feel of you next to me. Everything. It's engraved in my brain. I try to forget, but I remember the sad reality.

I'm still in too deep.


End file.
